Monday, November 29, 2004

WED, 18 Sept 2002


And so, right after I mailed the first letter and got into my car to go home, the first thought I had is, I wonder what it would be like if _____a and I had a house together?

Pulling onto Piedmont, this introduced all sorts of thoughts: First, what would we have for dinner tonight? Order in? Eat out? Pick vegetables from the garden? Forage for nuts and berries in a tree?

Then, I was faced with a stark reality. At some point, I’d be forced to cook. Then, I’d no longer be able to scrutinize and criticize you. Then, you’d be able to make fun of my tough chicken and rubbery rice. You’d be serving me the truth about my tragic salad and my soggy stir fry.

These thoughts were new and strange to me because previously I’d never seriously considered living with you. I mean, I’d given it a passing thought before, but I’d given myself a zillion reasons why it wouldn’t work out: your religious commitments, my need for personal space, blahblahblah. But suddenly, on this, our second consecutive day of no talk, these things became unimportant.

What does that say?


So, I decided to not go to the gym because I had to work on a bio for me and the fellas to perform in Huntsville next month. As usual, D_niel was the only one who’d given me his updated bio information and I was waiting on S__d’s and A_’s. As is usual, I’d probably end up making something up. Thinking about how tired I was made me all the more tired as I pondered my 3-hour drive to Knoxville coming up on Friday.

So, after an hour of traffic, I finally made it home, logged on to my computer, and, as expected, there was not a peep from S__d or A_.

On Sunday, the kid organizing the gig in Huntsville asked for bio information, audio files, video files, etc. etc. etc. which I’d promised to him for Wednesday. And, as usual, I was left to pull it all together. I ordered a pizza, passed some time reading books, took a bath, and sighed.

Finally at 9:30, under the weight of an impending next-day deadline with too much work and not enough time, I did what I always do: I went to sleep.

I’m on a huge lake—so big I can’t see to the other side. Why is it a lake and not a sea? Because I said it’s a lake, of course!

So I’m on this big, dark body of water on a boat by myself. The water is bordering on violent and I can feel it’s strength gathering, but I’m not worried—even though I can’t see to the other side.

The sky is blackening, the wind is picking up, and I don’t even have a sail! Lord, oh Lord, which way will the wind blow me now?

The rain must have been whispering something peaceful to me as I slept because I awakened two hours later and all of the pressure was gone.

The next morning, I woke up (as God apparently intended), went to work and did what I usually do: I spent 3 hours finishing the group bio at my desk. I felt so exhilarated after it was done! I showed it to a co-worker whom I usually can’t stand. He thought it was well done.

My day passed pretty rapidly after that at work. And hark!, I realized I hadn’t even started my daily letter. So, here I am now, thirty minutes past my time to leave work. Will I be able to keep this up? I’m sure I can. Today I have so much energy! But, only time will tell.



P.S. Do you know that, after all of that screaming, I still haven’t regained my voice?
P.P.S. What would I plan for dinner for us tonight?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...